|
[08 Jul 2004|02:15pm] |
|
I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt or upset. But there is something pushing me to keep going because things will work out. They will, I've prayed about it so much -- I just feel like this isn't how things are supposed to be.
|
|
| [ Insert Interesting Title ] |
[06 Jul 2004|04:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Love Is Only a Feeling -- The Darkness |
] |
Well, work was...work. It was so cold. I had two suits on (because the regular one rides! owww), a tshirt, my brothers Meeker hoody, and my Lifeguard sweatshirt on, along with a pair of shorts and sweatpants. Oh and that dumb hat. I hate that thing. Anyways, to make a long story short, it was cold, and this fat kid got really mad at me because I couldn't get his dollar back...(?) Luckily I worked my last morning shift until at least the 11th. The rest of the week are evening shifts.
Cam and Aly are gone...sad to say I really don't have much to do anymore.
I don't have to go to counseling anymore. That's good news.
>Danielle
|
|
| www.kurthalsey.com |
[05 Jul 2004|11:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Accidentally In Love -- Counting Crows |
] |
To Hold and To Be Held
|
|
| Better Person |
[03 Jul 2004|09:39pm] |
20 Questions to being a Better Person
Your score as a human being is 94.5.
You are a pleasure to be with and a pleasure to be. Your friends do not envy so much as admire you, and you lead your life with grace, honor, and dignity.
|
|
|
[03 Jul 2004|06:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I Melt -- Rascal Flatts |
] |
[ Your Favorite ]
Hair Color:: Blonde
Eye Color:: Blue, but green is cute.
(Their)Music Genre Preference:: Anything, but I do not like hard rock. (screaming)
Height(estimate):: 5'6-5'9...not too much taller than me.
Age:: Uuh...16? 17?
Personality Type:: Laid back, sense of humor.
[ This or That ]
Older or Younger:: Preferrably older.
Romantic or Horndog:: Hah! ...both.
Smart or Stupid:: Definately smart.
Fat or Skinny:: Skinny and a little toned.
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:: skinny but muscular
Punk or Preppy:: I don't like sterotypes.
The Big Picture or the Little Things:: Little things.
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:: I love pink roses.
Mixtape or Burned CD:: Considering we live in the 21st century...
Love or Lust:: Love
Emotional or Just Not:: Emotional.
Sincere or Jokester:: A little bit of both.
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:: Haha damn...
Sexy or Just "cute":: It depends.
Arse or Abs:: Oh goodness, that's a hard one.
Hair or Hands:: Hair.
Dimples or Eyes:: Eyes.
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:: Biceps?
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :: Teeth/Smile.
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:: Clean shaven, I don't like facial hair.
Rugged or Prim and Proper:: I think ragged?
Countryboy or Cityboy: Aaawe...it depends.
Date alone or With Friends: With friends, I'm codependent. =)
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:: :deep breath: I don't knooooow.
[ Have You Ever ]
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:: No.
Loved a guy because he stalked you:: No?
Loved a guy because he hated you:: Uuh, no.
Asked your friend's crush out:: Haha, awe Aly I'm so sorry, for the 9993th time.
Lead a guy on for kicks:: Accidentally, yes, but not for kicks.
Asked a guy out purely because he was hot:: No.
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:: Hah, yeah.
Lied about not having a boyfriend:: I don't think so...
Lied about having one:: I don't think so...
Cheated:: Never. Ok kind of but not technically.
Been Cheated on:: Unfortunately yes.
Had a crush on a gay guy:: No.
[ Their Clothing(yes/no) ]
Boxers?:: Yeah.
Briefs?:: Not briefs...boxer briefs.
Hat?:: Trucker hats are hot.
Skater Shoes?:: Sure.
Pimp Shoes?:: ??
Band Shirts?:: Oh yeah.
Vintage shirts?:: Very much so...
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:: Hell no.
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:: What are those?
Independent/DC?:: Uuuh...Independent.
Skavenger/UGP?:: Huh?
Fox/Thor?:: I have no idea what Thor is.
Jeans or Shorts?:: Both are nice.
[ Be Honest ]
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:: No.
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:: No.
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:: Haha, no.
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?: Uuuh...I don't think.
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:: No.
Do looks matter?:: Yes.
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:: Yes.
Does size matter?:: Yes, very.
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:: ?
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:: No.
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):: No?
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:: Yes.
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:: Haha, no.
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:: No.
Are you disappointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:: No.
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?: No.
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?: Yes.
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:: Sometimes.
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:: Maybe.
Does this survey suck nuts?: Kinda.
|
|
| Sweet Comment |
[03 Jul 2004|03:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
"You're so cute, you're always smiling."
|
|
|
[02 Jul 2004|10:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 working |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Last Thing On My Mind - LeAnn Rimes |
] |
[ I miss you so much. ]
Four o'clock in the morning
My mind's filled with a thousand thoughts of you
And how you left without warning
But lookin' back I'm sure ya tried to talk it through
Now I see it so clearly
We're together but living separate lives
So I wanna tell you I'm sorry
Baby I can't find the words
But if I could
Then you know I would yeah yeah yeah
No I won't let go, know what we can be
I won't watch my life crashin' down on me
Guess I had it all right there before my eyes
Girl I'm sorry now, you were the last thing on my mind
|
|
| Well. |
[02 Jul 2004|12:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5 |
] |
Something happened to me this past week and a half. I don't know what. I feel, new.
God has a reason for everything.
Things will work out.
I wish he was here.
|
|
| Employee Party |
[01 Jul 2004|11:40pm] |
|
Tonight Cam untied my bathing suit in the Wave Pool...it was funny until I realized he untied the top too and I was trying to hold it over my boobs. Okay so it was funny the whole time. Except Saul saw a lot of my chest. And so did everyone else I'm sure. Then the waves kept coming while he was trying to retie it, so we would fall over. And it scratched my butt. The end.
|
|
| I'm Sick of It |
[01 Jul 2004|03:13pm] |
I'm sick of looking in the mirror and not seeing someone pretty.
My face...
Ugh.
I want to see me.
|
|
| Horoscope |
[29 Jun 2004|10:44am] |
|
Normally, Venus flies through each sign in less than month. Because of her recent retrograde phase, however, Venus is currently three-quarters of her way through a four-month stay in your sign, bringing her lovely distractions your way. Perhaps you've seen a new relationship pattern emerge since April. [when I started talking to Blake] It's possible that you've been in somewhat of a stall, unable to get your love engines restarted.[since Cam, I haven't had a decent relationship] It's all about to change. Get ready for an enjoyable Venus ride between now and early August.
|
|
| Kansas Trip |
[28 Jun 2004|11:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 worried |
] |
I'm in Kansas right now visiting.
I'm having fun, it's about all I thought it would be, possibly a little bit more, at times a little less. I really like this boy, whether I act like it or not. It's a little bit of me pulling back to keep myself from getting hurt as bad as I know I will when I have to leave on Wednesday. I'm scared I might be giving him the wrong impression. I hope not, I do like him -- a lot -- too much. He's wonderful. And he's so sweet. And I love it.
Kayla is amazing. I've never met a girl that I've gotten so along with so well, so fast. I really like her a lot and I'm sad I have to go back to Washington to the "boy group". I wish there were more girls like her up there.
Her mom is going to cut my hair tomorrow. Aly will be jealous, she wants bangs like what I'm getting.
I don't want to go home.
|
|
| Awe, Sweet. |
[23 Jun 2004|12:13am] |
Okay, I'm not making a huge deal out of this, it just made my "night".
Jackass906: have an awsome trip
im a lovely duck: bye
Jackass906: i love you
im a lovely duck: i love you too
That was cute, he never says it first. Precious. I love him.
|
|
| No, I Luv U More! |
[22 Jun 2004|10:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Vindicated -- Dashboard Confessional |
] |
I cut for the first time in a long while last night. It wasn't bad though, at all. I was just so fed up with myself.
Oh well, things will get better hopefully.
I get to hang out with Aly after I get my teeth filled. Until like 2:30am, cause then I have to go and take a shower cause I leave at 3:30 am tomorrow morning for Kansas. I'm excited.
I have to go, I'll try and update while I'm there.
>Danielle
|
|
| Where Do I Go From Here? |
[21 Jun 2004|10:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Live Like You Were Dying -- Tim McGraw |
] |
I guess I'm just not her...and I never will be.
I'll never beable to make him happy.
I'll never beable to be like her.
We are two in the same but obviously very different.
I guess there is a lot I don't say.
A lot I don't let anyone know.
I'm going to let it stay that way.
It only fucks things up.
I only fuck things up.
My drama only fucks things up.
Maybe I should go away.
Oh, why should I care if you, found somebody new,
And you look like you're in love
And why should I care if she looks alot like me,
And she's all you've ever dreamed of?
I didn't care enough to keep you around so tell me
Why should I care now?
So why should I care if I
Mean nothing in your eyes
What you felt for me is gone,
And why would I feel that way,
Now that it's too late,
To change what I did wrong?
Oh I didn't care enough to keep you around,
So tell me why should I care now?
I hate me.
But I love everyone else.
But no one shows me love in return.
Someone love me.
And show it.
I love hugs.
More than anything.
She's coming back.
I want her to stay away.
But at the same time sometimes I feel like that's all I have.
Cam's got Aly.
It's starting to go back to how it was before.
She was what he wanted.
Well, two is a pair, three's a crowd.
What can you do.
No one knows how much I cry.
All the time.
Almost every night.
Especially in my car.
Country music.
I guess I've got myself.
And that's all I need, right?
There's a shitload of other things.
But, I'm good at faking fucking happy.
And no one needs to know about it.
They are my problems.
I'll deal with them -- some how.
>Danielle
|
|
| This Close |
[21 Jun 2004|10:43pm] |
|
I'm almost there. Just need a push.
|
|
| Vindicated |
[21 Jun 2004|10:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Vindicated -- Dashboard Confessional |
] |
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated, I am
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me
So isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
|
|
| Hmm... |
[21 Jun 2004|01:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Extraordinary -- Liz Phair |
] |
I go to Kansas the day after tomorrow.
I'm excited.
Very, excited.
Chris pissed me off.
Some conversation about putting out, enough said.
Whatever.
Goodnight.
|
|
| She's Coming Back |
[21 Jun 2004|12:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pissed off |
] |
Hunger hurts,
But I want him so bad,
Oh it kills
But I know I'm a mess
He don't want to clean up,
I've got to fold,
Cause these hands are too shaky to hold.
Hunger hurts, but starving works,
When it costs too much to love.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
lovelyduckxx's journal